A little backyard humor from
"The Duke of Dirt"
(aka.. master gardener Dad!)
Now That's A Man’s Flower
I suspect that I am like most guys. Flowers are pretty and nice, but they take a lot of work and they all got those big fancy names. Well boys, I got news for you. I found me a flower that is easy to grow, takes very little work to maintain and doesn’t cost much to boot. It’s called the “Iris”.
This pretty little flower comes in a lot of different colors and it’s planted by root, kind of like a potato. You buy a piece of root and plant it in the fall, about four inches or so deep in a trench or hole and low and behold, come spring its green leaves pop out of the ground. And come the first part of summer, a tall shoot emerges and develops into a pretty flower that looks similar to an orchid. Pretty easy right? Well it gets even better. After the flower blooms the long green leaves stay until frost and about the time you cut the grass for the last time, you just run the lawn mower over the Iris patch. Come next spring those Irises will have expanded and before you know it, without doing any additional work you will have a pretty patch of flowers.
I have got a patch of Irises that I planted around a nasty old Elm tree that sheds like a dog. Now I admit I do not like that old Elm tree. I have to pick up after it all the time. Well I was told it was the wrong place to plant irises, too much shade. Here was my plan. After about 5 years those Irises had spread all around that tree, but they had not bloomed. So I told my wife, who likes that tree, that if she would let me trim up that elm I could get those Irises to bloom. I hit that Elm pretty hard with a chainsaw hoping it might accidentally die. No luck there, but those Irises bloomed like crazy. Since that was 5 years ago, maybe I can talk the wife into letting me attack the Elm again. Wish me luck.
Guys, the point is that there is practically nothing you can do wrong in planting Irises. They just grow, look pretty year after year and keep multiplying. Now is that a man’s flower or what? Now if your sweetheart’s name happens to be “Iris” you have got it made. You can really bail yourself out of a lot of tough spots with this flower, just use your imagination.
Thus ends the lesson. Till next time.
The Duke of Dirt.
Note: the advice and information contained herein is based upon our experience and study.
As with any advice, please apply at your own discretion.